Chewing Gum & Graphite.

1. I got into the Williamstown Theatre Festival’s apprentice program! It was completely unexpected because I had called them a week or so before I found out asking if they had notified all of the selected apprentices and the guy I talked to said he was pretty sure they had. Crazy times. So, I’ll be in Massachusetts from June 14th to August 20th. I’m so excited.

2. Hopefully I will have secured an apartment by the time I leave.

3. Being home has been extremely lazy, but knowing that I will be doing things pretty much nonstop for two months (without air conditioning) is making my current sedentary/hermit-like liftesyle seem sort of acceptable.

4. I have ventured out into the world on a few occasions, however, mainly to catch up with friends and get my hair cut and ride my bike. Okay, so not totally sedentary. But I have spent an incredible amount of time in my bed (both sleeping and doing nothing of importance on the internet. Exhilarating.)

5. Today I was in Old City with my dad and we found this vintage store that doesn’t have prices on the clothes (most of which are in huge cardboard boxes), but instead the cashier puts the clothes you want to buy on a scale and charges you based on how much everything weighs. Like a salad or frozen yogurt! So, I got two dresses, a shirt, and a pair of shorts for $20. Amazing.

6. I’m getting my wisdom teeth out on Monday and I am actually terrified.

For The Displacement Project, we had to write one stream-of-consciousness page on what it feels like to worry. Here’s mine. It’s to be read very, very quickly.

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Alexis won free tickets to see Peter Bjorn and John at the Bowery Ballroom last night and it was so much fun. There were two openers: we missed the first one, but the second was this all-girl band from Tokyo called The Suzan and they were precious and really enjoyable. When we got back from the show, we had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. PB&J city.

Yesterday evening and most of today was spent doing Tisch’s 40 in 24 festival (which actually turned out to be 20 in 24). It was awesome and the play I was in was funny and everyone in my group was lovely and by some stroke of luck my play and the one Adam wrote were performed in the same theatre, so I got to see his, which was nice.

Now it’s late and one of our windows is open (because it is getting colder and I’m so excited about that) and I feel strange and I can never be eloquent in times like these; I just want to like, break a few things and go wander through the city. I dunno. I should probably just go to sleep.

My dad and I stopped at Trader Joe’s this morning to gather provisions before driving to New York. Because of the impending hurricane, there was no traffic, even going through the Holland Tunnel, which was absolutely unprecedented. My room is so large (especially compared to the one I had last year), with so much floor space for dancing and games and all such fun things. Also we have lots of windows with a sweet view. Everything is great; we just need a couple of floor lamps.

Earlier, a bunch of us walked to China Town and went to this place where you can get four dumplings for ONE DOLLAR. It was absurd. And delicious.

Now it is starting to rain harder. I think we’re going to have some kind of group dinner soon and then wait for the hurricane to really pick up.

I love the cast of The Comedy of Errors more and more every day. I especially love talking about musicals with Brent, how Rose is always willing to do my eye makeup because I suck at it, making faces at Daniel, and all of the silly things Robin and I do constantly. It’s going to be depressing as hell when the show is over. But then I go back to New York a week later, so I’ll only be in mourning for a few days, hopefully.

Yesterday I saw Seamus for the first time in a while and today I saw Thomas for the first time all summer, which doesn’t make any sense to me considering he really doesn’t live very far away. He, Amanda, and I walked all the way to the Franklin Fountain to get ice cream, among other things. The past two days have been so lovely, filled with friends and Shakespeare and not having to go to work.

Tomorrow after the show I’m going to New York until Monday night because I miss it too much and can’t wait all the way until the 27th to see it again. Also, I’m going to meet my pen pal, which I am very, very excited about.

So, everything’s pretty awesome and now I should really go to sleep because I need to wake up and clean my room tomorrow before my dad gets back from the beach. It’ll be a shame not having the house to myself anymore; being devoid of parents for a week has been the best.

Earlier, I went for a bike ride; I am trying to do that as much as I can. Not only in order to get fit, but because when I am biking by the river as the sun is setting, I feel so (as trite as it sounds) free and happy and at peace, even though I am pedaling through swarms of bugs that gather when it’s getting dark, when there is water around, where there is artificial light, where it is warm, in the summer. It doesn’t seem like they need much of an excuse to materialize everywhere, fly at me in the dusky light, ensure that my mouth is firmly closed. But they’re small, ubiquitous, and I’m sure I’ve managed to ingest more of them than I would care to imagine.

I stopped at the Strawberry Mansion Bridge, my favorite of the many bridges that arch over the pathway. I remember stopping there many times last summer, the summer before that. People had written things on it: commemorations of their love, inspirational quotes. Some of the things that were written were really quite lovely. Today when I went to look there was nothing that I remembered. Washed away, I guess. Replaced now with drunken words written in bright blue, a few “_____ was here,” a few “_____ and _____,” sometimes accompanied by a heart or two. It made me wonder if those people were still an “and,” if the people who wrote that before them, whose names had washed away were still “and”s, too.

It reminded me of the people who carve their initials into trees. What happens if they break up? (I wish there was a kinder way of saying that; it sounds so harsh.) It feels like the names, the initials, should drift away with them, fall off the three bark and the metal bridge beams right away, go to some place where all of the names and initials of people who once were sure enough in their love or lust or infatuation or whatever it was to try and make it permanent – where they could all exist together, but out of sight. An invisible record of couples that did not last, buried, somewhere deep and hidden, but still there, still lingering. It just seems strange to me, and sad, that these reminders of former relationships should still exist when the people who wrote them aren’t like that anymore, together. It seems only right that they should disappear.

Why would you ever do that, anyway – carve your initials into a tree, write your names in permanent marker somewhere public? Wouldn’t it be just awful to stumble upon that after breaking up? (Once again, the phrase feels like a sprain.) Or after, say, the death of your partner? If I were ever with someone, and we, for whatever reason, wanted to proclaim our love to the world like that, I would carve our initials into the dirt with a stick, trace them on a dirty window.

I would write our names in chalk.

The past two days have been so glorious. It was strange to be back in studio, but a nice kind of strange. I loved seeing everyone and I am getting more excited to learn how to kick some serious ass in eskrima. After studio, I power walked to the 14th and 8th subway station to look at the sculptures there for Writing the Essay. Then Adam, Alexis, and I went up to The Beacon (which is so, so lovely and ornate) for the Decemberists show. It was wonderful. Beyond wonderful. They played “Red Right Ankle,” which is probably my favorite song of theirs and we got to pretend to be eaten by a whale during “The Mariner’s Revenge Song.” And I got a sweet poster.

Today was unusually packed with events; it feels like it’s been like, three days or something. It was snowing in the morning, which always makes things more cheerful. After class, Adam, Alexis, and I went to The Impossible Project Gallery because they were showing 50 of the polaroids that Autumn de Wilde took of The Decemberists while they were recording The King Is Dead. On the website, it said that members of the band may drop by, but THEY WERE ALL THERE. When we first walked in, we saw Colin and then gradually saw the rest of them and we were all freaking out internally. We had just about gotten up the courage to ask Colin for a photo (even though we felt like dorks) when he left abruptly, which was unfortunate. Though we did get a picture with Nate and Jenny and had a brief, slightly awkward but still pretty great conversation with them. Later, I had rehearsal with Tre, which went pleasantly well, and then Adam, Dylan, Thomas, Alyssa, and I went to the UCB Theatre to see a bunch of comedians, including Donald Glover. It was really, really funny and only five dollars! Then at like, 11:00, a bunch of us decided to brave the raging snowstorm go to Insomnia. It was such a good decision. It was beautiful outside and we all got hilariously covered in snow. On the way back, we went to the park where these kids were building a massive snowman in the middle of the fountain, which we helped with; snow seems to make everyone friendlier. 

Everything is great in this moment. I have to go to sleep because studio starts at 8:30 instead of 9:00 on Thursdays now, but that’s alright because I AM FEELING SO GOOD.

What I’m feeling now is appropriate for a Monday, I think. I just finished reading Mockingjay and I’m in an almost end-of-Harry-Potter kind of funk. It was such an emotionally jarring book that I don’t really know what to do with myself right now. Though I have things I should do: put away the clothes on my chair, write my WTE paper (but first think of what to write about), look over my studio books. I’ll probably do at least two of the three eventually; I don’t have anything else planned for today. After an exhausting week of waking up early and walking a ton, I need a day to just sit in my room and relax.

To focus my attention on other things, I’ll talk about the weekend because it was wonderful. On Saturday, I went kayaking in the morning with Goddard people. Yeah, kayaking in New York City. For FREE! It was a lot of fun but the wind was really strong so it was a huge workout trying to paddle against it. Later I met my friend Jordan in Union Square and we went to the Guggenheim to see an exhibit called Haunted because all Tisch kids have to see it and write a two page response. It was a fantastic exhibit, but it was a HUGE exhibit. I took way too many notes and thus, I was there for about three and a half hours. Jordan went through it a lot faster, and I told her she didn’t have to wait for me so by the time I was finished, I was alone, my right shoulder hurt from my tote bag, my left shoulder hurt from my camera (which I couldn’t use, anyway) and my feet hurt from walking, but I liked the exhibit enough to buy the expensive book about it, which only added to the pain in my right shoulder. I traveled back to my dorm, where my parents met me because they brought up some things that didn’t fit in the car when I initially moved in. Then we went to Lombardi’s for dinner, which was delicious, even though we had to wait 45 minutes for a table. Then we went to this place called Popbar, which makes popsicles with gelato, and they taste like magic.

Yesterday, a few Goddard people went to the High Line park, which was cool. We walked around Chelsea a bit and miraculously found our way back. Then I met up with Sara Patterson, and even though I have the worst sense of direction, I managed to get us to Magnolia Bakery only to find a massive line outside. So we we back and took a sort of roundabout route to Popbar instead. Then we took the subway to midtown, went to her dorm for a very short amount of time and then tried to get tickets for a show. We wanted to see La Cage aux Folles, but there wasn’t a show happening that night, so we went across the street and got rush tickets for A Little Night Music. To pass the time before the doors opened, we got food at a street fair on 6th Avenue. I was just as excited to see the show for the third time as I was when I first saw it. We were up on the balcony, which I didn’t even know they had in that theatre, so now I’ve seen the show in every level. Haha. Sara liked the show a lot, which I was happy about. I always get nervous when I show my friends things that I really love, because I don’t want them to be let down after I hype it up so much. We waited at the stage door afterwards and managed to get four signatures on our programs! I almost had a heart attack waiting for Bernadette Peters to come out, but when she did, she only signed a few things and then got in a car and left. So Sara and I are determined to go back and get her signature one of these days.

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I’m starting classes tomorrow. Real or not real?

Real.

I hate writing things when it’s really late/early, because I want to say “yesterday” because to me, it is still “today” until I go to sleep, but then the technical part of my brain gets irritated. I don’t know what to do!

Well, on Tuesday, we had a SNACK party at Russell’s house. His house has no air conditioning and we were cooking things both on the stove and in the oven. Hahah. Thankfully, it cooled down a bit because it rained and then the sun went down. We made a weird meat pie sort of thing, that was good but it needed to be cooked longer because the pizza dough wasn’t fully cooked. But we were impatient, hungry teenagers. We also made a chocolate souffle, which actually turned out really well! I think we’re trying to have SNACK meetings every week, to make up for the fact that we had ZERO during the school year, which was totally unacceptable.

Today, which I guess is yesterday now, Sara Patterson and I saw Sunday in the Park with George because I won free tickets on Twitter! It was lovely, just like last time, and I had fun talking with Sara about shows, which I think should happen more often.

The forecast keeps changing for tomorrow, but from what I have gathered, the high is supposed to be somewhere between 94 and 98 degrees. I am not leaving my house for anything, unless it is a SEVERE EMERGENCY. It was awful enough being outside today (and I was barely outside at all today, but it was like being punched in the face and stomach with heat).

I went to the library today! And got plays! And I am excited to read them! That’s probably what I’ll spend tomorrow doing: reading plays. And maybe Harry Potter, too. I started my annual Harry Potter  re-read the other day, which is making me more happy than it probably should. But obsessions are hardly ever rational.

Anyway, this is long and rambly and not very cohesive, but I don’t feel like going to sleep right now (which is probably not a good decision), so I’m just going to add to it. THUMBS UP!

The Arden just posted a thing on their Facebook page about Seurat and Sondheim and Sunday in the Park with George and I read this and made a little squealy noise: “George Seurat hated the term ‘pointillism.’ He felt it was reductionist and missed the point of what he was trying to accomplish. He referred to his technique of using tiny dots of color to create a picture in the eye as chromoluminarism. Chromo meaning color, lumen meaning light. Color and light. Lapine and Sondheim adopted the term for George’s Act II artwork.”

SO COOL.

Oh, and I have a Dailybooth now, if that interests anyone. Which it probably doesn’t and I totally understand that. I’ll put the like up anyway. JUST IN CASE: http://dailybooth.com/projectsara

OKAY I’M DONE MONOPOLIZING YOUR TIME AND DASHBOARD.

Updates updates! By day:

THURSDAY - Our last rehearsal at Kathy’s lovely apartment. We did some improv, which I was a bit scared of because I’m not the biggest fan of improv, but it wasn’t too bad, especially since I had an established character. We improvised a few scenes that weren’t in the play but could have been: Franny going to Inez’s house after Billy and Perdita leave her, Perdita and Inez hanging out (Inez was teaching me how to frost cakes… haha), Perdita at the gas station after Billy leaves her, Billy and the Man after they leave Perdita (which was HILARIOUS; they got to talking about fairs and hog wrestling), and what the last scene might be like if Billy hadn’t killed himself. It was a really interesting rehearsal, to say the least.

FRIDAY - Our last rehearsal. It was a really good one. Running through the show has always been fun but that time it seemed especially fun for some reason. I had to bring my afghan blanket home because the scene it was used in got cut, so I had it around my shoulders when I walked home and got lots of funny looks. Ian walked with me most of the way, talking more about his coming months of adventure that he had started telling me about the day before after rehearsal (he’s apparently going to hike from New York to Massachusetts on the Appalachian Trail, for one thing) and I told him about the frustrations of high school theatre.

SATURDAY - I got a state ID so that I can go on airplanes and registered to vote at the same time (thanks, Motor-Voter Law!). Amanda came over and the line for the Joanna Newsom show at the Church was crazy long, but we ended up getting decent seats anyway. The Moore Brothers (the opening band) were fun and had nice voices. Annnd Joanna was super adorable and super amazing. I could gush for a few sentences, but I won’t. She makes me want to learn how to play the harp. Later, my mom, Amanda, and I saw The Sleep Detective (another PlayShop show), which was… weird. It had its moments, but I wasn’t a huge fan overall. Also, we barely avoided the FLASH MOB on South Street, which was beginning to form when we got out of the show. Absolutely ridiculous.

SUNDAY - Our last show. Ian forgot to bring his shoes and had to run to a nearby thrift store to get new ones. Meg forgot her script and we had to start the show a bit late so we could wait for her boyfriend to bring it. But in spite of those minor-ish glitches (and the fact that it was a zillion degrees in the theatre), the show went really well! A lot of people that I knew saw it, which was nice. Caileigh made me four beautiful paper flowers and she, Lyle, and I went out to eat after the show. Later, my mom and I saw Our Lady of Balenciaga (another PlayShop show), which was good. Though ::in lofty tones:: not as good as our play, if I do say so myself. After the play was over, I waited around to do the strike, which didn’t take long. I got to keep the sweater I wore (for a mere 50 cents!), which made me happy. After loading all of the set pieces into Matt’s truck, we got our checks, I hugged people, and it was all so fast, and then it was over (OH SNAP, line reference!). We all sincerely hope that Kathy’s play gets produced (even if none of us get recast, haha) because it is so, so wonderful and deserves to be seen by as many people as possible. I still can’t believe I can say that I ORIGINATED the role of Perdita Flannery. Crazy.

So those four days were really fantastic, albeit rather bittersweet. Today it was rainy and gross, which was especially suckish because it had been so nice over the weekend. My mood paralleled the weather. I felt kind of sick, and Mondays are never fun, and I was sad about the play being over. And I have a bunch of African American History stuff that I have been putting off for too long, but that I REALLY don’t feel like doing. BUT then earlier, I was looking at the message boards on http://collegeconfidential.com and there were people discussing the cryptic e-mails from NYU and a couple people said that they called the admissions office and if you got one of those e-mails, it means you got in! So I freaked out a little bit and got really excited. Hell, I’m still really excited. ALSO, Mumford & Sons are going to be here in May! ::explosion of joy::

Okay, I’m finished. This was too long and if you actually read all of it, I commend you. I need to decide between sleeping and homework now, though I kind of have a feeling about which one is going to win.